Key Points
That “just water” order might say more than you think, depending on how you ask for it.
A Cosmo still speaks volumes — yes, even in 2025.
There’s one drink order that leaves servers laughing (or cringing).
Restaurant servers aren’t exactly clairvoyant, but those of us who have worn an apron for long enough are sometimes able to tap into a sixth sense about the people sitting in their section. Intuitively, we can sense which customers will be nice and which ones will become the story they’ll tell someday that starts with, “So, this one customer…”
What you order to drink can be very telling about your personality traits. But only the most experienced of servers will be able to pick up the subtle clues that your drink gives about who you are and what kind of customer you’re going to be.
Water
Most servers are going to assume you are either focusing on hydration or focusing on your pocketbook by not spending $4.95 on a glass of Coke. Tap water being “fine” says you’re a real salt of the earth kind of person who takes things as they are even though you probably have a Brita filter at home. Sparkling water says you’re up for adventure and you’ve either been to Europe or you really want to go there some day. Asking for room temperature water says you have sensitive teeth and asking for extra ice says you grew up in America. If you request extra lemons and a sugar caddy, you are definitely keeping an eye on your wallet because when you make it yourself, it’s free.
A Cosmopolitan
Your inner Carrie Bradshaw still craves that delightful pink cocktail that was first introduced to you on Sex and the City in 1999 on Season 2, Episode 2. You loved that show and then you hate-watched And Just Like That… Even though the Cosmo has been around for a decade-plus longer than Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha (it was invented in 1988 by Toby Cecchini at the Odeon restaurant in New York City), they are the ones who made it chic. The Cosmopolitan may have been the gateway libation that led you to cocktails instead of well drinks and it still tickles your fancy. If you order this you might also actually be the 58-year old man who is writing this very article.
Coffee
If you order coffee black, you give the impression you’re straightforward, decisive, and ready to get down to business. You don’t have time for things like cream and sugar! You’re happy to drink your cup of joe with an omelet or a cheeseburger, but that java better be served at a temperature just below that of lava. And you’re definitely having a second cup. If you order a cappuccino with half soy milk, half oat milk, whipped cream with a sprinkling of nutmeg and cinnamon, this says you go to Starbucks too much.
Hot tea
You like the cozy feel of a hot mug in your hands. You’re thoughtful, introspective, and sincere. You once bought an herbal tea sampler box from Celestial Seasonings, and it rocked your world so much that you don’t mind that your order requires the server to go get a mug, saucer, teaspoon, honey, lemon, sugar, and a box of tea all for one of the least expensive beverages on the menu. Ordering hot tea says you know how important it is to take care of yourself.
Tito’s and vodka
Believe it or not, this is an actual order that has been placed — frequently. It gets haphazardly called for often enough that, according to Reddit, at least one restaurant has put it on their menu and charged $100 for it and another charged $250. Tito’s is a brand of vodka. Vodka is a vodka. You are ordering a double vodka on the rocks, with the two different vodkas: top shelf and bottom shelf. When you order this it says you’re someone who doesn’t really pay attention to the details. You heard that Tito’s is good so it must be even better with vodka. Ordering this is an open invitation for your server to judge you. Harshly. From that point on, your server will speak more slowly and limit their use of multisyllabic words to make your dining experience as seamless as possible.
These are all generalizations and not all servers have this uncanny ability to see who you are through the eyes of the glasses you drink your beverages from. But, those servers in the know will take your drink order and then pay attention to how accurately they have surmised your personality based on coffee, tea, soda, or Cosmo.
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